How I Nearly Lost My Wife (And How I Got Her Back)

When I got married, my wife and I were both 19.

I was in my second year of college. The only advice I’d ever received about marriage was from my friends:

“Evans, you’re making a huge mistake!”

I had no idea how to be a husband. Forget premarital counseling - I first met the pastor that married us on the morning of our wedding!

I grew up in a family where men were dominant and women were subservient. As might’ve guessed, that dynamic carried over into our marriage.

Within a few years we were on the brink of divorce.

One night I came home late from a long day of work and a game of golf. Karen asked me to stop playing so much and told me that I needed to spend time with her and our young daughter Julie.
I blew up.

I said “Get out of my house! Get out! I don’t care where you go but you can’t stay here!” 
Karen ran down the hall crying.
Now pause with me for just a second. 

I haven’t told you the craziest part yet: 

Karen and I were both Christians. 

We both had gone to church that very Sunday. We read our Bibles and had our own quiet time every single morning!

That particular morning, I happened to read John 16. 
Verse 13 stuck out to me like it hadn’t before, “When the Holy Spirit comes, he will guide you into all truth.”

When I told my wife to leave - I was beside myself. 

I was in shock. 

I didn’t want her to stay and I didn’t want her to go. I knew my marriage was over and I was going to lose Karen. I had no idea what to do.

At that moment, I remembered the verse I read that morning from John 16. I lowered my head and whispered “Holy Spirit, will you teach me how to be a husband? Because I don’t know how.”

Right then, deception fell off my eyes. I realized that I was deceived about myself and I was deceived about my wife. It was a supernatural experience. I found Karen and apologized to her and she apologized to me. It was a new beginning for us both. 

But we still had a long way to go.

The next morning God took me in the Bible to Genesis 2. At first, I didn’t understand why, but I kept reading it again and again.

What I discovered there saved our marriage, and countless other marriages since.